foolish fool's eye

  Music has always been a constant in my life. Come dive into my world of music...                  

  It's been a year or so.... and the feeling of loss doesn't really wane. You just learn to live with it.

Happiness is in need hard to come by... when is one trully happy? When it is only fleeting, does it count? Is happiness still happiness even if you felt it for just a second?

The self-immersed people who does nothing but tear other people's lives in their thoughts and in their words just for the sole purpose of uplifting themselves and succeeding only in placing themselves at the lowest of low in character. A "successful" life only true to their own point of view. You disgust me. So high and mighty, thinking you are better than everyone else "below" you. No one is below anyone nor above. What you don't have you envy from others and what you do have you drag around town and show it off to people who either doesn't care a bit or cares as much as you do... tear it up to pieces too. Envy begets envy. And while you are being enviously basking in a juicy piece of information you found out about someone across the street, you're life is being dissected by the very people you identify with. A liar trusts no one simply because no one can trust him as much as he can trust himself. And an honest person is being called many things......

time passes by fast. day becomes night so quick even when am just sitting here staring at my computer screen. i feel like i have so much to do but done nothing much really. so i decided to look back and check my past year out... hmmm... i've had trying times with a couple of people. one made me realize i deserve better in this life while hurting me in the process. one made me think twice about that later on. life is just funny  you know. you realize something now and one day in the future you find yourself in doubt. you read a book today and realize something then you read the same book after 10 years and you will have a totally different perspective about it. it's like learning different things from the same experience at a different time. so looking back, i have been through this before... but does that mean i have a different perspective now? different lesson from the same situation at a different time? that's just weird. i am asking myself why i am still in this situa...

This is the one crazy ride I am more scared of getting off than getting on. The hardest thing for me to deal with is rejection but what's harder is dealing with a feeling that you know that is there but can not be. Hoping is one. But knowing is something else. It's like knowing that a fruit is sweet but you can't eat it. It's throwing away something that you haven't even held yet. I can only string along long enough. And I am not sad about the pain. I am sad about what we could have had but not having the strength to take it. And as tears fall down my face I realize I am not ready to let go... so I'll string along as far as I can. And I am not expecting anything back or anything more than this. I just wanna give it to you. Not because you deserve it but because I just simply want to. So when you tell me my stop is coming soon, it already came too many times. I just chose to push that start button every single time. So where do we go from here? Nothing is e...

The pork barrel has always been a big controversy to us all... except of course to those who knows it "first hand". This is a bold move of Pres. Pnoy and i hope and pray that this does do something about corruption in our country and not just a reason for most politicians to find a another way to get some. The posting of projects online and public biddings at  Department of Budget and Management  and  Philippine Government Electronic Procurement System  where people can get to see is also a good one. Transparency is key. And if the government can't be anything but transparent then maybe they can earn the full trust and confidence of people like me who have long lost it and just made do with what was there for me. Kudos for this one Mr. President. The Government has never been this online and out there before and it just makes me feel that I am important to be able to not just here the news on tv or news from papers and what news authorities put out in public bu...

I get poignantly lost in every beat that reminds me of you...

Spend all your time waiting For that second chance, For a break that would make it okay. There's always some reason To feel not good enough, And it's hard, at the end of the day. I need some distraction, Oh, beautiful release. Memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty, Oh, and weightless, and maybe  I'll find some peace tonight. [Chorus] In the arms of the angel, Fly away from here, From this dark, cold hotel room, And the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage, Of your silent reverie. You're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here. So tired of the straight line, And everywhere you turn, There's vultures and thieves at your back. The storm keeps on twisting. Keep on building the lies That you make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference, Escape one last time. It's easier to believe in this sweet madness, Oh, this glorious sadness, That brings me to my knees. [Chorus] You're in the arms of the angel...

Today it's 33°C with a relative humidity of 66%, courtesy of the weather bug. Oh yeah, it is sunny. Our body sweat's evaporation process makes our body cooler but high humidity prevents the evaporation of our sweat so we are left hot and sticky in this weather. It has been like this for a while and some people have suffered from heat stroke. A 20-27°c temp is our comfort zone and anything higher than that could cause heat illnesses . So what does high heat do to us? The common effects of extreme body heat are we experience mental as well as physical problems  like getting grumpy and spaced out and getting really tired and inefficient. And in extreme cases, when body heat rises up to 41°C, this could be a possible heat stroke. It is important that we are aware about the signs because heat stroke requires immediate medical attention since delayed treatment could cause damage to our kidneys, heart and brain. Body temp rising up to 41°C is a main symptom but the person usually fai...

Okay, so am watching Pinoy Master Chef and i dunno why i thought of sayote . They call it mirliton in the US and others also call it Chayote or vegetable pear. So here, we call it sayote . When i was a kid and started learning about vegetables and stuff I had the impression that people didn't give much attention to sayote coz i grew up being told that it doesn't have much nutrients... just water. So with all these trending posts about health benefits of fruits and vegetables, i decided to look this one up and what do you know... turns out, 100g of this vegetable gives us 23% of our daily recommended intake of b-complex vitamin, folates. It is low in calories just 16kcal per 100g and no saturated fats or cholesterol, it's got anti-oxidants and vitamin C, considerable amount of potassium and the rest of the b-complex vitamins. And it is also good in minerals like iron, manganese, phosphorous, copper and zinc. so much for the humble sayote.  The next time i am having or...

i always want what i cannot have. and i always go for the ones who doesn't want me back. mebbe it is true that we accept to love who we "think" we deserve and not those we believe and know in our hearts who is right for us. there is no perfect thing so one doesn't just give up on something that is flawed. we fight for it but unfortunately, fighting too many times gets really tiring and exhausting. so i gez giving up is okay. as long as we give it all we got. just like what i did... so you can call me a fool coz i still want you and i will not be the same without you... but i didn't really have you, didn't i? so that makes me all the more foolish than i already am. 

it's weird how we can get so attached to a piece of gadget like a boyfriend. i get grumpy without it and if it suddenly stops working, my world stops spinning for a while. :D i remembered getting to know my phone and it was hard. getting to know the apps, what to do with them, troubleshooting, getting new apps, how to make things work for me... then dealing with the battery life being so short. i had to bring a charger around coz i can't seem to deal with the fact that it could die on me anytime. so what i did is get a led app... assign unique colors to my app notifications and put my phone on silent. it does extend a bit of battery life and it works coz am always looking at my phone anyway. :p lol this is such a random blog post. so this is what happens after a major drunken moment... the soberification process... brings about random ideas... lol bottom line is i love my BB... please don't leave me... T_T hehehehe

i didn't really understand calories until i started realizing i've been gobbling up too much of it. and  they are all spread out in all the wrong places in my body. i looked at myself in the mirror a month ago and started to see myself differently and that's when it hit me. i need a change. i am an app addict to start with so my calorie rave came accidentally when i was in one of my app-crazy mode where i scan all free apps available for my phone and download anything that catches my attention. so i came by this calorie app that says i could lose weight by taking control of my calorie intake and this app should help me do just that. i honestly downloaded it out of curiosity. because i am a very curious person. :D and then i started following directions from it and i see now that it is actually working. so i am now very surprised at myself at how i watch what i eat when i normally don't. i eat anything that looks good. i don't wanna sound like a health nut and all ...

In my short lifetime i have realized a lot of things. one is, people love to judge. and we especially love judging misdeeds of others. i keep on trying to figure out why... so i decided to make myself the lab-rat for my little experiment. i had these questions to answer: what makes me judge someone? how do i judge them? what happens after i judge that person? what good have i got out of it? Firstly, i judge people because i am either intrigue or envious. intrigue because there is something i wanna know about that person and there is no way of knowing it or i am just too proud or "indifferent" to ask. so i start to make my own judgments about him and come up with my own answers. in short, a way of satisfying my curiosity. now, envious because they have something i do not have or want so badly but unable to get. so i judge them, mostly badly, to justify the "fact" that one cannot get everything but rather one gets what they deserve. so i start thinking of "yes, ...

we're on the road, off to a gig @ the city. it has stopped raining but it's cloudy and it's around 24 degrees C. not my kind of temperature. i'd rather sweat than have cold feet.

it's been a gloomy weather lately. and nights are especially cold... 24°C. it's probably a warm night for other countries but no not in mine. i could easily say that it is gonna be a sad week since i can't play tennis when i am off and when i am working it's too cold and my voice cracks sometimes. but life is a matter of perspective. since i can't go out and play, i can watch tennis videos and learn techniques from pros :) and since it's too cold to sing outdoors, maybe it's time to use my colorful shawls and scarves :) i can choose to be gloomy like the sky and weep for boring days... but i also have a choice of sunny-ing my day when it gets gloomy by brightening up my smile or i could frown a little brighter(if it's possible) and thin k of ways to make life productive when it seems like it can't be. and... when i can't go out, i don't have a choice but to stay in with the family. :) good tim es...