foolish fool's eye

  It's been a year or so.... and the feeling of loss doesn't really wane. You just learn to live with it.

Happiness is in need hard to come by... when is one trully happy? When it is only fleeting, does it count? Is happiness still happiness even if you felt it for just a second?

The self-immersed people who does nothing but tear other people's lives in their thoughts and in their words just for the sole purpose of uplifting themselves and succeeding only in placing themselves at the lowest of low in character. A "successful" life only true to their own point of view. You disgust me. So high and mighty, thinking you are better than everyone else "below" you. No one is below anyone nor above. What you don't have you envy from others and what you do have you drag around town and show it off to people who either doesn't care a bit or cares as much as you do... tear it up to pieces too. Envy begets envy. And while you are being enviously basking in a juicy piece of information you found out about someone across the street, you're life is being dissected by the very people you identify with. A liar trusts no one simply because no one can trust him as much as he can trust himself. And an honest person is being called many things...

time passes by fast. day becomes night so quick even when am just sitting here staring at my computer screen. i feel like i have so much to do but done nothing much really. so i decided to look back and check my past year out... hmmm... i've had trying times with a couple of people. one made me realize i deserve better in this life while hurting me in the process. one made me think twice about that later on. life is just funny  you know. you realize something now and one day in the future you find yourself in doubt. you read a book today and realize something then you read the same book after 10 years and you will have a totally different perspective about it. it's like learning different things from the same experience at a different time. so looking back, i have been through this before... but does that mean i have a different perspective now? different lesson from the same situation at a different time? that's just weird. i am asking myself why i am still in this situa

This is the one crazy ride I am more scared of getting off than getting on. The hardest thing for me to deal with is rejection but what's harder is dealing with a feeling that you know that is there but can not be. Hoping is one. But knowing is something else. It's like knowing that a fruit is sweet but you can't eat it. It's throwing away something that you haven't even held yet. I can only string along long enough. And I am not sad about the pain. I am sad about what we could have had but not having the strength to take it. And as tears fall down my face I realize I am not ready to let go... so I'll string along as far as I can. And I am not expecting anything back or anything more than this. I just wanna give it to you. Not because you deserve it but because I just simply want to. So when you tell me my stop is coming soon, it already came too many times. I just chose to push that start button every single time. So where do we go from here? Nothing is e